you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
