I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
