is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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