I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So vagazzling was a success
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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