did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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