You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
