I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
