I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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