It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
