Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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