So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You left your phone here
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