its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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