I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize