well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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