Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
