hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
