Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
