Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
