does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
