Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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