Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
