There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is Oprah even human
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
