listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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