i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your penis caused this!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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