2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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