uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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