sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
