So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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