I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
