Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I could fuck to npr.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
