Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
