did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
