the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
