if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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