there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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