I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
