he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
