There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize