I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
