she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
