it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
