Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
