New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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