It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
