Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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