remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
