what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
