he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
