We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They took my balls.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize