I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
