My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
