2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
