I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sober January is a disaster.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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