i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
