where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
