Can Purell be used as lube?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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