Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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