how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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