Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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