I must be too annoying 4 u.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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