exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize