Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
